Sometimes I wish....

Sometimes I wish I could say all that I wished I could.
Sometimes I'm a breath away from breaking down.

There are times I look at you and open my mouth to tell you my fears and yet not a sound comes out.

Why should I be scared of all the things I imagine you say when I tell you whats in my heart?

You are not a cruel person who would laugh, or jest at my pain
You are not someone who would think im over reacting
You are not someone who would tell others my fears

So why do I fear you the most when it comes to telling what lies in my heart?

Perhaps it is fear you will not understand,
or maybe the pain in heart would not sound so painful to you as it is to me,
or maybe Im too scared you'll be ashamed of me. That you'll never look at me the same again, that I would not be worthy of being your friend.

What would would you think of me as I tell you my sins?
Would you be disgusted?
Would you be scared?
Would you be mad? or sad? or happy perhaps?

Frankly I have a habit of running away when things get bad. I fear if I said these things aloud to you then you would be weighted down.

Yet maybe perhaps when im much older and I can truly smile without hiding my tears then I will tell you all of my lifes fears

CLICK ON ME TO READ A OLD STORY FROM MY BLEEDING HEART