Sometimes i can be so cruel.
and i can easily convince myself i dont care about the feelings of others.
Sometimes all i want to say to people are cruel spiteful things. its really hard to contain myself in those moments.
Sometimes those spiteful things are on the tip of my tongue and all i want to do is make those who 'care' about me suffer as much as i have in my personal hell.
There are moments i want to scream my frustration and yell my anger out.
Those moments make me cry and wish i was someone else. then i turn bitter and spiteful for wanting to die. things in my life make me want to explode but i try to contain my feelings by forcing them into a small box and hidding it but those feelings are trying to bust out, you can see them through the cracks and seams demanding to return to me and make me feel.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Life's Changes
life has been.....well its been not so great.
tigers dog had gotten loose and seriously injurged our neighbors goats.
there have been no more dogfights of late.
i found out ive been accidently overdosing these couple of years.
fortunatly there have been no panic attacks...i dont know why though, i think ive been trying to distance myself emotionaly.
my mom got in a car accident and totaled my car. she had fallen aslep while driving after coming from a bar. she says she'll buy me a new car when she gets her tax back.
i think i lost weight.....in my feet.
my Old friend seems to havin givin up hanging out with me or maybe im just being sensitive again.
i really miss SunShine.
momma got a apartment and shes taking her dog Rukon back with her so i'll be dropping him off this saturday.
i'll have no dogs after that, i dont think i should anyways, it seems i am cursed with pets and it is a Miricale i still have my two cats.
my baby brother Bear has been a bit distant lately and doesn't want to open up.
my other brother Tiger seems to be getting married in march, it will be a arranged marriage and theyve never met. he thinks she's still in love with her ex and i think Tiger will cheat on her. he already mentions how he cannot wait till they divorce and hes not even married yet!
my eyes have been really bad lately and i fear i am damaging them with these old contacts but i dont have any money right now so theres nothing i can do but wait and hope
tigers dog had gotten loose and seriously injurged our neighbors goats.
there have been no more dogfights of late.
i found out ive been accidently overdosing these couple of years.
fortunatly there have been no panic attacks...i dont know why though, i think ive been trying to distance myself emotionaly.
my mom got in a car accident and totaled my car. she had fallen aslep while driving after coming from a bar. she says she'll buy me a new car when she gets her tax back.
i think i lost weight.....in my feet.
my Old friend seems to havin givin up hanging out with me or maybe im just being sensitive again.
i really miss SunShine.
momma got a apartment and shes taking her dog Rukon back with her so i'll be dropping him off this saturday.
i'll have no dogs after that, i dont think i should anyways, it seems i am cursed with pets and it is a Miricale i still have my two cats.
my baby brother Bear has been a bit distant lately and doesn't want to open up.
my other brother Tiger seems to be getting married in march, it will be a arranged marriage and theyve never met. he thinks she's still in love with her ex and i think Tiger will cheat on her. he already mentions how he cannot wait till they divorce and hes not even married yet!
my eyes have been really bad lately and i fear i am damaging them with these old contacts but i dont have any money right now so theres nothing i can do but wait and hope
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