There are two I wish to go to now yet I've no choice but to stop myself.

I could be the child & not bear the unspoken responsibilities that no one dares to speak of but no my conscious won't let me even think of ignoring it. Sure I deluded myself a bit in the beginning but no matter how hard I tried there it was in the back of my mind demanding I do what needs to be done & make the choices everyone else has decided to ignore.

So here I am, making choices such as these once again but dont worry I've gotten use to it, pretty sad but its fine. Its like learning not to trust the promises of others...mostly the promises of your parent(s) because no matter how much they wish to fulfill that promise it just can't be done so I've learned not to waste my feelings in believing it'll come true.

Sometimes i just can't stand my patheticness, sometimes i disgust myself & then again i dont even care what i think about myself most of the time...i can't even trust a promise i made to myself